Stereotypes:

Shrug It Off & Stamp it Down!

For almost any human being, image is important. Developing your own self-image and your image portrayed to others is a huge ‘factor’ influencing every-day life and social interaction. For those of us who live outside mainstream trends and stereotypes, creating an image can be challenging.

The popular children’s tale of a steadfast donkey’s ‘battle’ with its malicious owner is a perfect analogy for Americans living an alternate lifestyle. The owner placed the donkey in a pit and attempted to bury it, by tossing dirt down on top of the animal. Rather than fighting back or simply allowing itself to be buried, the donkey shrugged the dirt off and stamped it down. No matter how much soil the owner shoveled into the pit, the donkey continued to shrug it off. Eventually the donkey had stamped down so much dirt that it had risen back up to ground level, and simply walked away.

While this metaphor is heavily simplified, the basic attitude of the donkey, and the moral of the story, provides a valuable lesson. It is easy to get caught up in stereotypes, and define yourself as per society’s standards. Certain attitudes and personality traits are expected of various groups of people, including racial groups, those separated into financial strata and those who lead ‘alternative’ lifestyles.

From personal experience and observation, the most content people out there are those who simply ‘be themselves.’ Trying to conform to a certain standard, or struggling against a societal norm, are both disheartening endeavors. The ‘dirt’ described in the donkey story could be anything from insults to a general stereotype. Rather than responding to comments or trends, simply shrugging off the negativity is more than sufficient to rise above the negative attitudes and misunderstanding.

This is especially true for those who have recently found themselves drawn to alternate lifestyle choices. Time and time again people develop vengeful or recalcitrant attitudes towards their family or friends who don’t genuinely respect their new preferences. Responding to the negativity with more negativity is never a good idea, and usually leads to alienation. While it may be fun and fresh to jump into a totally new outlook on life, your old friends and family are still important. Even if they aren’t immediately accepting, and maybe they never will be, treat them the way you always have. They will have no real ground to stand on when trying to combat your choices.

This is also important when first entering a new community, it is easy to get caught up in the excitement and lose yourself in it. Always remember, you are still you. Don’t go out of your way to dress or act in a way that isn’t natural. If it does, that’s awesome and you should always respect yourself for acting in a way that feels right to you. Trying to be someone you’re not, (not to be cliché) doesn’t solve anything, and can lead to frustrating experiences.

There’s no point in reinventing the wheel, or reinventing yourself. Don’t allow others opinion or judgments to ‘get you down’ or make you feel like less of a human being. If they feel like it’s their duty to judge, let them judge. Just ignore them, avoid them and don’t give them the satisfaction of upsetting you. You haven’t done anything wrong, if you feel like you are acting naturally, than you are.

The media has done a miraculous job of pigeonholing the gay and lesbian community. While there are some who may fit the various stereotypes, a large portion of the community are just regular people. It isn’t your duty as a bisexual or homosexual to shape yourself into a popular image or societal stereotype. It is easy to fall into the temptation of defining yourself with clothing and appearance, or simple one or two word descriptions. You are more complicated and unique than that. Don’t sell yourself short by allowing yourself to be put in a box!

The first step to combating this ‘being put in a box’ concept is to show yourself for who you really are. While your lifestyle, habits, race and gender are all important, defining qualities of a human being, they are not the only ones. Exhibit yourself as a special, unique person, free from stereotypical chains and society’s desire to nail you down as either ‘a’ or ‘b’. Simply put, there are no two completely identical people on the planet, you are the only person qualified to define yourself.

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